Showing posts with label regrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label regrets. Show all posts
We were together for almost a year. During that time everything was great I always had so much fun. I think he likes me but couldn’t fall in love with me. And that's the problem. I’m completely heartbroken because I loved him with all my heart, we had a such great chemistry and now I miss him more than ever.

I realised that even if he doesn’t love me back the same way, I should I have told him that I don’t just like him, I love him. The only reason I didn’t say it was because I had a feeling he wasn’t ready to say it back to me and got scared.

Now that he left me I carry the burden by myself, and in a very selfish way I hate it knowing how much I’ll suffer to recover from it.

I work 3rd shift at this place for the last 3 years. Up until this point I’ve been able to get away with only vacuuming the facility at night and the rest of the night just sitting in a chair watching Netflix and keeping an eye out for customers to come up to the front desk which doesn’t happen that often at night because the manager didn’t really care.

This week I found out my manager is being fired and we’re getting a new manager who has a reputation for watching cameras and firing overnight staff if she thinks they aren’t cleaning enough (i.e. the whole shift).

I saw an ad was posted for my position online by the company a few days ago. No one has said anything to me yet but I can only assume I’m getting canned too. It was great while it lasted ☹️

Ilovemyanimals024

Since I started drinking alcohol I have never puked. I don't drink often. In fact, I probably drink once a month or once every few months at times, but when I do, I just let the party carry me through.

Everyone generally has a good time but eventually when I wake up, I always wake up "coming to" and have a hard time remembering everything from the night before.

"Browning out" is what it's called.

It's been this way since I started and just feel anxious about all the conversations I had with people, worried I said something offensive or too personal without realizing it.

I never "hit on" people cause I'm in a great relationship but I can't help but feel annoyed at my self that I always forget conversations I had from the night before.

Anyways just wanted to confess that I hate how I feel after "Browning out" because I don't really remember the fun I had the night before. My friends all say I was having a good time but it's frustrating because I don't always know if I'm saying things I shouldn't be.

MOTIVATEDTOBEFIT

My 20th birthday was this Monday.

Growing up, I loved and hated my birthday. I was excited for the presents and cake, but every year I dreaded the day after.

You see, it wasn’t supposed to be just me. I have a twin sister. She’s younger than me and lived for a day. She died the day after we were born and every year we visited her grave.

Until the age of twelve I held so much hate and anger and grief in my heart for the sister I never had. I thought about death, her being all alone in the supposed afterlife, and every year I saw my parents cry.

Why her?

There may be a hole in my heart, but the wound is healed. This hole will never be filled and I am at peace with that. I visit her every year to clean and be reunited in a sense.

I love her for who she would have been, and I know she would have loved me too.

I don't know who to choose. Between my boyfriend of 8 years, in which love turned to chores, romance turned to obligations and excitement turned to irritation. Versus a man, a colleague, who always made my day seems special in every possible way.

He's only a friend but I felt so attracted to him. I've felt, he's also attracted to me. We won't have so much fun on every trip that we have if he doesn't have a single bit of attraction in me. The good part about it is there is no sex involve. It's just respect, companionship and laughter.

I just wished I had met him before I met the man I am with. But back then everything just happened.
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