It is so hard to be a full pledge human if you are a mom with two small kids, but it is much harder to be a full pledge mom if you are starting to forget how to be a human.

Right now I am typing on my keyboard with a chatter on my back—the voice of my lovely little ones, a music to my ears with a genre of a metal rock. I always daydream how would it feel to have a silent time just for myself inside a tidy room, but it always got interrupted with a bang of my son's voice, shouting only to announce that he found some lizard.

I hope all my confessions now and in the future will uncover something, some answer from my subconscious, a sign from other galaxies, a light from universal consciousness, a revelation.

Hopefully writing this will help me understand my thoughts more, as long as it's an honest writing. Another way too is to confess not just to myself but to everyone who is ready to listen. I wanted to be true to you. I wanted to be true to the internet where there's a growing trend of filters and best-versions. I have no more energy left for that. I just wanted to keep my sanity by writing down my thoughts through words. I believe my best version is showing my wounds, describing them without filters.

That's it for now, got to go back on slicing onions, releasing some fake tears while listening to my metal rock music.